The most beautiful thing….. a Sunday morning… we had just woken up.. laid in bed for hours.. there were no lights… didn’t need any…. It was snowing outside and the light from the snow shone through the windows… it was a cool, calm, colorless light.. he got out of bed, wearing gray boxers.. put on a green brmc shirt.. walked across the room and grabbed a Nikon camera.. I leaned up in bed and watched him as he did this.. he came and sat down next to me, fidgeting with the camera, loading new film. Never said a word. He stood up, leaned against the dresser, and started taking pictures through the window. He was so beautiful.. his chocolate cherry hair… all scruffed up.. he went to the other window.. and I looked out through the one his warmth still surrounded.. “oh my god..” I put my hand to my mouth… out the window, over the snowy courtyard, to the apartment building across the way—pink balloons. Someone was letting go of these pink balloons through their window, one by one, as if it was just because it was snowing….We both stared in awe.. four balloons danced around in the air above the courtyard.. he tried to take a picture of one. .. pink balloons ..in snowy whiteness.. it was ….the most beautiful thing.. I fell in love today.
We walked.. tip-toed here and there.. actually just about everywhere… the streets were nothing but pools of ice-water. Our feet were already soaked but I slipped my arm through his to keep from slipping.. “this way, if I slip, you’re goin down with me” ..he wore diesel jeans.. he had old school vans.. I wore his fleece jacket.. it was raining… he drew me under an overhang, pulled me close and kissed me hard… he doesn’t wanna smoke anymore.. said I should buy cigarettes and lend him one.. so I did. We walked down the street, a cigarette in one hand and each other’s hand in the other. We went shopping at von dutch and puma.. tried on binis for each other… slipped into each other.. time was slowly but surely running out.. but we took our time.. enjoyed each other like we had all the time in the world. I tried to sing for him.. but I couldn’t.. any song that came to mind, quickly slipped away and I was left utterly wordless.. I was too nervous and excited. Oh but I was so calm. This is where I belong. I promised him I’d practice a song and sing it next time. We stopped at an Italian coffee shop… it was warm, the windows were foggy, the lights were golden and red… I sat on a wooden seat and he held my hand cross the small marble table.. he asked what I was thinking. More than once. …then…. “I wish could take a picture of you right now. The light from the walls hits your face perfectly… but its so dark, it probably wouldn’t come out”…..he played ‘we wish you a merry christmas’ on my fingers like they were piano keys… then he pulled out his camera and took a snapshot of me. He didn’t want to say goodbye. At the subway, he held me close and smiled. He says my lips are so incredibly kissable. “this is sad… saying goodbye,” he murmured.. i took off the jacket… and handed it back to him.. he kissed me one more time, then we separated.. he went down one end of the tunnel and I went down the other end…. ….i left the cigarettes in the jacket pocket for him.
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